Mum’s need to look after themselves as well

Self-care for mothers:

In this new role of parenting it is important to not only look after your new baby but to also look after yourself. Often parents, especially mothers are so busy caring for their baby that they forget about themselves. But you will be a better parent and partner if you can look after yourself as well.

 

Similar to an emergency procedure on an aeroplane you have to first put your own oxygen mask on before trying to help children.

In our society ‘Mummy Guilt’ is a real pressure for many parents, especially new mothers. Worrying about what others will think if they take some time for themselves or ask others for help.

Unfortunately, there seems to be way too much judgement of mothers, and ironically it’s often from other mothers. There already seems to be too much pressure from the media, social media, friends, family, in laws, partners and often ourselves.

Let’s give each other and ourselves a break!

Social media while being a wonderful tool of communication and information sharing has only amplified this feeling of inadequacy for many new mothers. Remember what you see on these platforms are often the highlights or a filtered view of the world with all the ‘bad bits’ removed or deleted. No one usually wants to post about the awful day they are having or the comfy PJ’s they are still wearing at lunch time!

When I had my first baby I saw taking time off as some sort of failure and I also missed my daughter and worried about her. Even though I knew my partner was very hands on and our daughter loved being with him, it was difficult to let go.

 

We still joke about a conversation we had when she was a few months old where he told me to “get out of the house and go and see… [a friend]” this was followed by something like “don’t you think I can look after her?” The truth is he had to prove his competence to me, mainly because I struggled to let go.

After his not so gentle encouragement, I did meet up with friends and get out of the house and when I returned home I was a better mother and a better partner as well. It took me a while but eventually I realised that I needed it and I never looked back.

Self-care also sets a great example for your children. We want them to grow up and look after themselves too!

Everyone needs some time out occasionally, it may be as simple as a quiet uninterrupted bath by candlelight or even an entire weekend away, you get to choose what works for you and your family. Self-care does not need to be expensive.

Do remember your partner needs some time out too.

 

Self-care ideas:

• Have a bath, light a candle or add a few drops of essential oils.
• Phone a friend and have a good chat.
• Have a cup of your favourite tea, coffee, juice or maybe a smoothie.
• Meditation, try a free app like Calm, Smiling Mind or Headspace.
• Cook something you love or try a new recipe.
• Doodle or try a mindfulness colouring book.
• Read a book, magazine or blog.
• Pick some flowers and put them in a vase or buy some.

 

• Play sport or exercise.
• Take a walk.
• Treat yourself to something yummy to eat.
• Listen to your favourite music.
• Have a nap.
• Enjoy a hobby such as scrapbooking, quilting or photography.
• Get your nails done or do it yourself.
• Meet friends for a girl’s night out or even coffee and cake.
• Get a massage.
• And so many more…

 

Try writing your own list and then when some time becomes available you can use it to jog your memory.

When your baby is very young you may need to start with short spontaneous self-care and build it up to longer more intentional sessions.

Remember that self-care won’t just happen on its own, it has to be a priority and you need to try to schedule it in to your life.

Self-care will make you a better mother, you deserve it!